A private moment

We have not held hands
or hugged
or snuggled up
on the couch
for a long time now

He fills our world
like dough rising in
a mould too small

But last week
as I drove
gingerly in the
crunching frost
and parked
my tired car

she looked down from
our bedroom window
her face framed
in the curtains, golden
(energy saving) light
spilling out into the night

and like a little Cheshire cat
smiled at
my upturned face ...

... I am happy

The Don of Small Things

Imagine me in a dark cave, in all encompassing nothingness, a vacuum that envelopes my mind and disorientates my body, a mindless force of nature that stops not for the laws of physics, a void, a blackhole, a hungry darkness where I cannot be sure if I am still awake or alive ...

Now imagine me trying to take a photograph of the darkness to show my friends!

That's how pointless it is to explain why I have fallen in love with WHITE NOISE. You have to read it to know what I mean ...

Don DeLillo, you are the man!

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I don't always miss her,
in fact I quite like the extra room -
to manoeuvre,
the house is less messy
and my old habit of stacking everything
in neat little
piles has come home to roost;
no one 'borrows' my toothbrush in the morning
or giggles as I struggle into my trousers
I have time to be my selfish self
and to fritter away irresponsibly
and yet, in the midst of all my
self indulgent reveries
her face pops up like
a poker ad, unpredictably
beautifully
(heartbreakingly so)
every time I hear a love song.
Last night,
it was an old one from
Junglee

note to self:

put on a brave face
for
you are a father now

smile reassuringly
nod sagely
laugh out loud
cry when he is not watching
(but never admit to it)

hug him close

wrestle him to the floor

lend him your finger

and your lumbering frame

hold her hand
and do a slow dance

so that he knows
to love her always
and be her little brave

be angry
be unfair
be weak
be human

so that he knows
that he can be better
(miles better)

and when he is taller
and wiser than you
(they always are)
and forgets your own
forgetful self

you can whisper to the wind
(for no one else will listen)
'his love will never be
more than mine for him'

father

he knows all the answers
and then
he knows none at all
and then
he knows some of them
and then
you turn into him

generic human

we all have family
friends
fear and hope
desire and anger
lust and laughter

we all crave love
and recognition
and comfort(s)

we all fear death
and loneliness
and loss of loved ones

and yet...

we all believe
in the uniqueness of
our existence

forgetting

the other 5,999,999,999 souls
who inhabit this earth
living the same lives

Raison d'etre

Sound track: 'If you ever get famous' by 'The Duke and The King'

today is ...

different, not
like yesteryears

today is ...

the day I-
-feel like I have finally grown up
-shift focus
-stop being the most important person I know
-don't mean a lot to me
-feel I have lived enough for myself

-am 32

today is ...

the day I-
-don't really care about anymore

today is ...
the first day
of my tomorrows

fame is a mask ...

... that eats into the face

He was not just once in a century

just once ... period

Mr Eliot says...

faith and love and hope are all in the waiting

so we wait

for you to

invade

conquer

vanquish

our lives as we know it now

and imbue

new meaning

into the same old wor(l)ds

that we thought we knew

to paraphrase that great man:

in the darkness you dance

as we hold still

(our breaths

our lives

our future)

in the light

a question

hungry boys
dark skinned
weeping

weeping boys
skinned in hunger
dark

dark boys
weeping skin
hungry

the truth
(anyway I look at it)
leaves me ashamed
of my comfortable life

then why do I
cling to apathy
in the midst of my shame,
choosing mere words over
selfless acts of
kindness?

smileys for fat people

:-))
double chin

:-P))
double chin sees supersize burger

:-{}))
double chin eating supersize burger

:-)))
double chin smiles after supersize burger

:-)))))
double chin looking down at plate

:-(((
double chin sees empty plate