Lesson 1: Personal hygiene
Caveman (Cm) is humming innocently (and rather tunelessly) in the shower as he splashes about, happy to have a recently discovered opposable thumb when suddenly the bathroom door bursts open and Pretty Face (PF) storms in.
PF: Have you been using my shampoo instead of shower gel?
Cm: What shampoo?
PF: The one in the bottle you are holding upside down!
Cm: You mean this? It would be good if it says so on the bottle...
PF: It is blindingly obvious, if only you bother to read
Cm (reading aloud): 'Rainforest Moisture', you mean?
PF: Don't play dumb, you know the other one is the shower gel
Cm: Which one? the 'Hydrating cream oil'?
PF: Yes!
Cm: So the oil is actually soap and the one which sounds like a David Attenborough DVD is the shampoo?
PF (as she slams the door): Get your paws off my stuff and stop being so melodramatic!
Lesson 2: Cosmetology
Cm: Crunch munch, gobble gobble, Snort! BUUURRP!
PF: Stop making such a fuss - can you not eat like a human being once in a while?
Cm: Actually, I was just thinking how sophisticated my palate is - this new cheese spread is certainly an acquired taste
PF: What cheese spread?
Cm: The one you bought yesterday - pink grapefruit and strawberry
PF (between fits of giggles): That is face cream, my little monkey boy with the sophisticated palate!
Cm (nervous laugh): Oh - I knew that - just pulling your leg
(note to self: DO NOT mention the tub of cocoa butter that you licked clean last week)
Cm will eventually evolve - until then, at least he can parallel park!
Caveman (Cm) is humming innocently (and rather tunelessly) in the shower as he splashes about, happy to have a recently discovered opposable thumb when suddenly the bathroom door bursts open and Pretty Face (PF) storms in.
PF: Have you been using my shampoo instead of shower gel?
Cm: What shampoo?
PF: The one in the bottle you are holding upside down!
Cm: You mean this? It would be good if it says so on the bottle...
PF: It is blindingly obvious, if only you bother to read
Cm (reading aloud): 'Rainforest Moisture', you mean?
PF: Don't play dumb, you know the other one is the shower gel
Cm: Which one? the 'Hydrating cream oil'?
PF: Yes!
Cm: So the oil is actually soap and the one which sounds like a David Attenborough DVD is the shampoo?
PF (as she slams the door): Get your paws off my stuff and stop being so melodramatic!
Lesson 2: Cosmetology
Cm: Crunch munch, gobble gobble, Snort! BUUURRP!
PF: Stop making such a fuss - can you not eat like a human being once in a while?
Cm: Actually, I was just thinking how sophisticated my palate is - this new cheese spread is certainly an acquired taste
PF: What cheese spread?
Cm: The one you bought yesterday - pink grapefruit and strawberry
PF (between fits of giggles): That is face cream, my little monkey boy with the sophisticated palate!
Cm (nervous laugh): Oh - I knew that - just pulling your leg
(note to self: DO NOT mention the tub of cocoa butter that you licked clean last week)
Cm will eventually evolve - until then, at least he can parallel park!
