Friendly faces

 That day as four boys 

who wanted desperately 

to be men fell into a 

strained silence drowning 

out the resounding crunch

of a blue car ramming 

into that rusty jeep, 

as I smoothed down 

my shaking hands with 

my tattered nerves,

He said it would be best

if we fished the Def Leppard 

tape out of the car stereo 

just so it doesn’t seem like 

we were careless 

- which we weren’t.

I thought that was a good day.

That day as I said out loud that 

I loved her, He gave me 

a hug, uncharacteristic for 

one who is not inclined 

to splurges of affection, then

asked me whether I was 

serious, as if, 

he would disembowel me 

otherwise with his quiet 

eyes passing 

effortlessly for daggers.

I thought that was a good day

That day when I thought

that all was lost after 

all that effort, but found

some unaccustomed strength 

of character, to put on a brave 

face and lean into the punches 

taking them all unflinchingly

on my double chin,He found me 

- the news was good after all - 

I was going places, 

more so than I ever dreamt.

I thought that was a good day

That day as I slumped,

fed up with

repetitive tasks on 

repetitive days fuelling

repetitive thoughts of failure, 

He said something surprisingly 

simple and misleadingly 

mundane, almost a platitude 

that made perfect sense 

and lent my soul some 

much needed latitude.

I thought that was a good day

That day as I sat in the car,

Loss and Darkness pouring out 

in streams leached of colour 

much like the world around me,

He muttered an Arabic prayer 

for the one I never knew 

but needed to fill a soul-shape 

in mine, the words made 

no more sense than the pain but 

the sounds washed away 

some of the darkness.

I thought that was a good day.

That day when toddler dreams

got tangled up on a high branch

out of reach of a failing father,

He climbed up above my 

futile incompetence, and brought 

down that purple dragon 

to the waiting 

boy with eager eyes open 

wider than arms.

I thought that was a good day

That day when He asked me to 

shed my excess weight and 

baggage, to be a better man, 

to run against the grain 

of anger and arrogance 

and insecurity, quietly insisting 

that I find a grain of something 

true and beautiful to keep up 

with her soft radiance 

and her smiles.

I thought that was a good day

This day when at last 

I sit down to flip through 

these faded freeze-frames, 

framed within the borders 

of my wayward dreams, 

I wonder if these men of 

shared history and scared 

moments, splattered with 

love and heartbreak 

and unexpected triumph, 

measure up to Her as I 

tote up their soul marks 

on mine unable to agree a 

fair trade price for Him 

and Him and Him of course.

I think this is a good day.